Entry #70: Free (Quiet Thoughts)

It’s hard to be human. I know I’m human, but I don’t feel human. I feel adrift, and beyond my mortal flesh. I analyze my responses and overthink my actions. My skin feels pleasure, pain, and sensations like other people. But on the inside, I feel strange, I feel connected, but I feel far away.

It’s not always so, sometimes a hand clasps mine, and I feel warmth, I feel alive for a moment. I reside in a darkness only I can dwell in. I move from side to side in my prison of bone and flesh. Pressing my eyes against the openings of my ribs, until the bone gives way, and I slip through the newfound space.

I feel serene, like I am floating upon endless clouds of grey, and rain falls all around me. My thoughts are calm, and the rain falls between my fingers. The difficulty in being human is not found here, because here is my personal realm of silence, a freedom to embrace madness, a freedom to dance beneath dying suns and the howling wind. I am free.

- Quiet-Emerald